Kelly Keelo’s Blog
We all claim to want to be happy. Happiness is part of the dream, isn’t it? That moment of triumph when you feel a level of success at your “whatever”. When everything falls into place so that you get to bask in the glow of your awesomeness. It’s what is supposed to be driving us all. But if you grew up in an environment that was less than ideal struggling just to keep focused, how do you learn what “being happy” actually means?
I realize that I have met quite a few Negative Energy Addicts…being a former addict myself. Yup. “My name is Kelly Keelo and I am a Negative Energy Addict….Heyyy Everyone.”  I realized several years ago my addiction by paying attention to my thoughts. If my mind was left to its own devices, its conversations with me were pretty harsh. It told me what I wasn’t doing. who didn’t like or love me, all the potential problems that could possibly happen, and how ugly the world was. And I wondered, why does my mind come back to that pattern over and over again? Why was I choosing (even when everything was going well) to focus on what was wrong?
The truth was I never learned what happiness felt like. My home life wasn’t necessarily happy and kids in elementary school weren’t super kind. By the time I got to high school I was just a shell trying to fit in. My high school was more concerned with teaching us 3 languages then improving our internal dialogue. So I learned to be book smart and emotionally messy. I thought Happy was a destination you arrived at and stayed at, so I fought to be the best at everything I did. A type times 10. Imagine my surprise when I gained success in several areas of my life, and once the moment passed, I still felt empty. I didn’t know what to do with happy or how to keep it around so I would revert back to my little bundle of nerves and angst because it felt familiar. Often self sabotaging myself because happiness felt foreign; sometimes undeserved. And honestly, most of the people around me were way more interested in hearing a tale of woe than a story of success.
 
After years of research and reflection I understand that you have to work at happy. You have to train your mind to indulge in the calm and peace that happiness ushers in. Happiness is a state of mind that can continue even when the times get challenging. You get to choose to be happy, happiness doesn’t choose you.
 
So in order to “keep my mind right” here are 10 steps that I take to maintain my “Happy”.
- Never Watch “The News”| Rarely Watch TV - Whose news is it anyway? I get my news from my Facebook and Instagram feed. I sometimes check out “my friends” posts because I know them and they know me, which means we share a memory or perspective which may make the news valuable to me. Do I want to hear about the child that died halfway across the world, the celebrity whose movies I have never seen show off their mansion, or what is currently “in”? Nope. Too much information which is often skewed from what the reality of it is as it applies to my life. Why get angry about things that have nothing to do with me? And I’m old enough to feel like most “original programming” on TV seems like something I’ve seen before. I’d rather spend my time on something more useful to my life. I have no desire to be emotionally invested in made up problems with fake solutions during all of my down time. So I indulge in 1-3 programs a season – getting rid of Cable altogether.
-  Screen Social Media Friends - 95% of my Facebook friends are people I have met in real life. And of those, I probably only have 1/4th of them in my active news feed. Although I want to stay connected to all of them, some of them are Negative Energy Addicts posting things that create unrest in me. I don’t want what they are sharing, so I choose not to engage.
-  Yoga - Yoga has saved my life. Quieted my mind and given me daily peace. If you have never done it before, I suggest you give it a go. It allows my “machine” to reset, relax, and then reemerge  with a renewed sense of hope. I do yoga at home in my underwear and my boyfriend doesn’t mind it in the least, go figure:-) My favorite yogis on video are Seane Corn and Rodney Yee.
- Subliminal Music - Because my self talk still needs work, I listen to subliminal music to retrain my brain. The words of gratitude and positivity are under the music but they are extremely effective in stopping my brain from going from thoughts of fun in the sun to my butt in a rut:-) Check out the Subliminal Guru if you want to hear some subliminal tracks. They give you 1 Free for viewing the site.
-  Meditation - My brain needs rest from all the noise of my life. A daily moment to just be. I have learned that the brain is not the predominate organ that fuels your body – it is your heart. So I’d like to say that I give my brain a rest so that my heart can take over to allow me to reset the love in my life, which drives my happy. For some easy ways to get you into a state of meditation, check out HypnosisLive .
- Eat Healthy Food - Food has a HUGE effect on mood. Eat to little and you are in starvation mode – cranky and unfocused. Eat too much “indulgence” food and you are creating an imbalance of chemicals which lead to erratic emotions. Eat a nice balance of whole foods with the right acid/alkaline balance and like Goldie Locks – you’re just right. To learn more about healthy food, check out Juice Hugger.
-  Associate with People that Make You Feel Good - I don’t spend too much time with people that make me feel uncomfortable – including former friends, associates or family. If being around someone makes your chest tight or your breathing shallow, walk away. It may be the issue with them is really an issue with you, but handle that instead of putting yourself in a situation that does not benefit your spirit and can become hostile.
- Â Pick up a Hobby You Love -Â I love to hula hoop, dance around the house in my pajamas, and I can still carry a tune. So pick something that puts a smile on your face and get to it. It doesn’t have to ultimately make you money or be something that you display to others. Find that something that you like to do when the door is closed and its just you, doing you. It can often feel like magic.
- Â Â Spend Time Alone -Â I spend 2 hours alone in the morning daily – doing yoga, meditating, hula hooping, singing, dancing, reading, playing with my cat, Mr. Rogers, etc. I can do a yoga pose the way I want to , miss a note, talk to my cat…whatever I want to do and its nobody’s business but mine.
-  Learn to Say No - I no longer do anything I don’t want to do. Period.
 
So chose your Top 10 list of things to help get you to Happy. It’s not the same destination for everyone. But you will not know if you don’t live at least a portion of your life for yourself and decide that aside from everyone in your world, you are willing to invest energy in the positive aspects that drive you to laugh and smile. If you find that you are a Negative Energy Addict, step into the sun and decide you CAN do better.
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